Falling
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Reid accidently kills an innocent child. This sends him over the edge and causes him to try and kill himself. The others are now on suicide watch for him. Can they help Reid get out of this deep depression and get him to forgive himself?
1. Chapter 1

**Don't worry I haven't forgotten my other fics! This week had been kind of hectic but this weekend I'm planning on updating some of them!**

The others watched Reid sit in the corner of the airplane. They all knew that he was taking what happened incredibly hard.

They couldn't blame him, though. They would too.

_It was chaos. People were running and screaming in the crowd. The agents all had their guns drawn, looking for the killer. Reid thought he saw him, he DID see him, He aimed, thinking he had a clear shot. _

_He didn't. He froze in horror and terror when he saw killer pushing a small child in front of him as a human shield._

_What did he do? He had shot a kid...They had rushed too the small boy and made sure he had gotten to the hospital as quickly as possible._

_Reid and the team had rushed to the waiting room as well. Reid couldn't quit pacing._

_"It wasn't your fault, man," Morgan said softly. "It could have happened to any of us."_

_"But it happend to me, Morgan," Reid snapped. "Whatever happens to that little boy it's my fault!"_

_A few minutes later passed and the doctor came towards them, grim faced and even before he spoke Reid knew what he was going to say._

_"I'm sorry, he...didn't make it."_

_Hotch closed his eyes and Rossi stared at Reid with sympathy sketched on his face. JJ went over to Reid and touched his shoulder gently. He jerked the touch away and closed his eyes._

_"I killed him," he whispered. "I killed him." He slowly started to walk out of the hospital, in a daze. Morgan started to follow but Hotch stopped him._

_"Let him go, he needs some time alone."_

Hotch eyed Reid sitting in the corner. He had to say something. He couldn't let the kid festure in this kind of guilt.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Reid sighed.

"I don't know..."

"You won't get into trouble for this. I talked with Strauss, she understood what happened."

Reid stared at him.

"You think I'm worried about my job right now? Hotch I just killed a kid!"

Hotch pursed his lips, unsure of how to continue.

"I know," he finally said softly. "But it was an accident..."

"Doesn't matter. Would you still feel that way if I had accidently killed Jack?"

Hotch stared at him, shocked by that analogy.

"I didn't think so," Reid snapped. "I killed a parent's child. I'm going to have to live with that..."

"We've all done stuff that we're not proud of. None of us like killing people, or not being able to save them."

"Did you ever kill any kids?" Reid shot back.

"No." Hotch kept his voice barely audible.

"So you have no idea what I'm going through, so don't even try...just...please...Hotch...I need to be left alone right now."

Hotch swallowed and nodded as he stood.

"We are all here for you...when you are ready to talk about what happened."

Reid sighed.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"We're here for you just the same."

Reid slowly nodded.

Hotch walked off and the others looked at him.

"How is he?" Morgan asked. Hotch exhaled.

"I don't think he's ever going to recover from this.

* * *

Reid stared at the bottle of pills in front of him.

It would be so easy just to end the pain. So so easy.

He killed an innocent child. He couldn't get that scene out of his head or the feeling of horror that he had when it happened. How he couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight.

Tears rolled down his eyes.

He was no better than the monsters they hunted now.

He didn't deserve to live. He deserved to be in hell...Slowly he took a pill, than another one and another one.

Soon he'll get his punishment and soon he'll never be able to hurt anyone ever again.

**Short I know and an odd ending to a chapter, but I hope you liked it! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! I'm kind of excited about this one, since it's so different. I was just wondernig the other day what would happen if any of them had accidently shot a kid and that's sort of where this idea came from :)**

Morgan didn't like the idea of Reid being alone at the moment. Garcia looked at him as he started to head out the door.

"Where are you going? You're not off work for another hour."

"Checking out early tonight, I want to see if Reid's all right."

Hotch had sent Reid home early and Reid did not object.

"Tell Hotch where I'm at," he added and she nodded.

"Tell Reid we're all here for him," she said and he nodded.

"Will do."

He knocked at Reid's door.

"Reid? Hey kid, it's me Morgan."

Silence.

"Reid?"

Worry filled him.

"Reid answer the door man!"

Nothing. Panic siezed control.

"Damn it, Reid! If you don't answer I'm coming in!"

He waited for about half a minute before kicking the door open.

"Reid?" No one greeted him. He began to get scared, really scared. The way Reid was acting earlier...this wasn't good.

His heart jumped when he saw a hand laying in the middle of the doorway to the bathroom.

"Oh my God," he breathed. "Reid!" He raced towards the room and stared in dismayed horror at Reid laying there on the floor, foam covering his mouth. "Oh my God," he said again." He went to check for Reid's pulse. As he did so he noticed the bottle of sleeping pills in one of Reid's hands.

He found a pulse. He grabbed his cell phone and diale 911.

"My friend has overdosed on some pills...he's breathing, but barely..."

They had told him to make sure he remained breathing as he rushed over there.

Tears spilled from his eyes.

"Damn it, Reid!" He cursed. He couldn't believe this was happening, NOT to Reid. He went over to the toilet and hurled.

He stood on the sides as the paramedics rushed in and placed a mask over Reid's face as they placed him on a stretcher.

The policemen insisted on having him ride with them, he was in no position to drive.

He was in a state of shock by the time they reached the hospital.

Not once did he think that Reid would try and kill himself. Even after the inicident with the boy.

He numbly picked up the phone. The others needed to know. Right away too. They'd be furious if they didn't tell him.

"Hotch speaking."

"Hotch its' Morgan."

"Morgan? How's Reid?" Worry filled Hotch's voice.

"He's...we're at the hosptial."

"What?" Hotch inhaled sharply.

"He...he tried to kill himself Hotch."

Finally he said it outloud.

"WHAT?" Hotch didn't bother trying to hide his shock.

"He...he overdosed on some pills the doctors are pumping his stomach right now."

Hotch sank into his chair.

"We'll be right there," he finally managed to whisper.

"Hurry," Morgan added before hanging up the phone. He saw the doctor was coming to his direction. "Well?"

"Your friend will live," said the doctor. "He will have to stay here for a while. He is going to be on suicide watch."

Morgan nodded grimly.

"Can..Can I see him?"

"You may, but do not do anything to to upset him more than necessary. He's been through enough."

Another nod.

Mixed feelings consumed Morgan as he entered Reid's room. He saw Reid hooked to machines, his face pale.

Reid lowered his eyes, refusing to make contact when he saw Morgan.

"What the hell, Reid?" Morgan's voice was stiff, and scared at the same time. "Why?"

"I had to punish myself," Reid whispered. "For killing that kid...I had to make sure that I would go to hell for what I did..."

"Reid, you really think you deserve to go to hell?" Morgan cried out in dismay.

Reid turned his head and pursed his lips.

"Reid, look at me! What happened was an accident-"

"I still killed a child Morgan! A little boy and NOTHING you say will be able to change that!" Reid shouted. He stared at Morgan. "Just...leave me alone, Morgan, PLEAE just LEAVE me the HELL alone!"

Morgan stood there, completly stunned by Reid's outburst.

"Fine," he whispered. "But before I do go I want to make sure you know how relieved I am that you didn't succeed in killing yourself. How relieved we all are."

Reid closed his eyes.

"I wish I could say the same," he whispered.

It felt like Reid had slapped Morgan.

Morgan stood there in shock for a few minutes and finally left, not knowing what else to say but knowing one thing for sure.

Reid had changed and he wasn't sure if he'd ever see the old Reid again.


End file.
